My Paleo diet is going so great, you guys. So, so great! I am only eating the things that Paleo man ate--meaning lots of fresh produce, no dairy, lots of handfuls of nuts and seeds, some lean meat, salmon for the long-chain DHAs, so important.
No processed foods, duh, because what did the Paleos process? Just some hides, my friend, just some hides. Probably also, in their own way, some primal fear. It was a big transition.
The Paleo diet works with our ancient genetic physiology, plus updated with lots of Pinterinspiration.
No dairy! Paleos didn't eat dairy. When offered cheese I respond "Not unless you know how to milk a saber-toothed cat and then have the time to promote bacterial growth until it ferments, coagulates and can be drained of its whey and then ripened with fungal spores, uh, no I don't." That helps everyone remember.
Paleo is great for the body especially for me because I finally found a time period where my body type is seen as divine!
Since going Paleo I drink mostly spring water and some wine and kombucha. Wine is Paleo! Did you know wine is Paleo? It is. It's old fruit, basically, and fermentation has many health benefits in addition to letting you eat your collected food past the stage of "rotten compost" and Paleos invented this, I think. I don't think chimpanzees make wine, could be wrong. I started making my own wine in my toilet (the fruit cave) after I had the water to the house turned off when I moved to a rock shelter in my backyard.
I thought I would crave sugar but it's not been a problem. I do crave fish, but that's on me. My harpooning skills are weak at best. I think I'll be inventing the net in thousands of years, though. That will be awesome!
God I love roasted cattails!
If you go Paleo you will never want for two things: insects and carrion. They are everywhere. It's like the Golden Carrion Buffet out there once you know how to look for it.
My splintered reed toothbrush is, if I'm being honest, more Mesolithic than Paleo. I am a work in progress.
I don't want to embarrass sinew but you can do a lot with sinew.
Offal is nature's facial. Rub it right on your skin and leave it for, oh, say, winter.
God, I love ferns!
I don't own shoes anymore. Cold feet, warm heart, can't lose. I hike barefoot through the woods with my toes gripping the rocks like my feet are massive, whiskery catfish maws and I later harvest thorns from my ankles. Delicious!
God I love jerky. All kinds. (Except bat. Everything isn't for everybody.)
All the chairs went on Craigslist. Squatting is so good for you. So, so good. Basically you are ready to give birth at any moment. And harpooning endurance is off the charts. I actually squatted out twins yesterday while messing around with a stone tool and almost inventing the awl. I know!
O how I long to be half woman / half muskox! Born this way.
Paleo is so good for your ligaments and disposition. Everything from Neolithic on is basically asking for inflammation and the existential angst that comes from authentic inquiries about the meaning of life.
I rake my nails through rain-soaked dirt for the microbes as should you. Germs are so good for building immunity and feverish cheeks. I got started by licking my knapped stone tools after I lend them to someone in my hunting group, so maybe that will work for you, too.
I resolve conflict with my bare hands. Try me.
I am reversing aging as we speak! I am also reversing evolution. Guess what, just did my measurements and my brain is shrinking! Good news! I might just give up fish so I can roll past Paleo, and my brain will be chimpanzee-sized by the holidays!